my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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