I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
