considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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