I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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