Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
