my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize