to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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