i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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