I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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