i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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