we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
