How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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