How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My ass is underappreciated
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
