I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
