We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
