the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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