Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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