Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
