Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I AM VODKA MAN
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
