Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
