I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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