so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
