My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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