The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
