Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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