We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
