I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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