This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize