i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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