How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize