I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
