idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
