True but thats because hes a fetus.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
