She's JV to your varsity
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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