all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
