is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
