I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
