to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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