I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
