I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
