I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
