Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
