Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
