I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
