U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
