Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i out mim tonsoeep
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
