in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize