When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
