Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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