oh god the rape fog is back!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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