I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
