There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
