rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
