hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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