who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
my liver is dry heaving
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
