So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
