so explain again why im purple
no
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
